The coldest winter I ever spent, was a summer in San Francisco. - Mark Twain

*Taken once stopped at a point - NOT while driving!

After getting breakfast with my mom, I headed back to Charleston since school starts tomorrow. If you know me, you know I do not like winter or being cold. If it has to snow, it better be when I have no where to go - haha. Well, today was pretty much the opposite of that. The first hour and a half of my drive was pretty boring, and nothing but an occasional flurry. The drive total only takes about 2.5-3 hours. I was thinking I was in the home stretch. about 50 miles outside of Charleston, I hit a HUGE blizzard. I could barely see the car in front of me, let alone the road. Driving through West Virginia isn't exactly the straightest highway either. The road was covered, but wasn't too bad as long as you followed the car's tracks from the guy in front of you.

However, about every five miles was another mountain or hill - yes, that means going UP. My car isn't the most sturdy for winter weather, so saying that I was shaking would be an understatement. I'm crawling behind the car in front of me, while people are flying by me in the other lane - normally I am that person. Why would you do that?!? 1. You're driving in a lane that covered in snow, with NO tracks to follow, and no one has touched that lane for probably a good 30 minutes. 2. When you do slide, you are flying and are probably going to slide into me! 3. Why do cars pull off the road going UP hill? try to make it up the hill, THEN pull over - you'll for sure be stuck!

After getting through the first TWO blizzards, I was lucky enough to come up on a city with lots of restaurants, stores, etc. I crawled off the exit, filled up my gas tank, and decided to wait it out about an hour. I was still shaking when I called my mom to update her on everything. After that, I just wanted to get back to my apartment, so I just decided to try and get through the last 40 minutes or so of the drive. When I got back on the highway, it was much clearer and people were going the normal speed limit. Ten minutes later - ANOTHER BLIZZARD! After about 20 minutes and barely going 5 miles, it cleared up too.

I was finally about 10-15 miles from downtown Charleston and it was as clear as could be. Finally! As I crossed the bridge downtown, INSTANT BLIZZARD again! It's incredible how fast the weather changed! I finally made it back to the apartment, then had to unload everything - my shoes and socks are STILL soaking from the snow.

Good side to it all? I have my first 2-hour delay as a "real" teacher! Well, here it is a "code C." We still have to report at regular time, but the deadline to cancel is almost an hour after we are already there. My principal said I could just wait to see if its cancelled, and if not, just come in then. So I still get an extra hour! I never though I'd say I am excited to wake up at 7! =)

New Year -> New You!

I thought I'd start a blog, with all the changes in my life, kind of picking up and starting over? I've done a couple blogs in the past, but they're only lasted a couple weeks - let's hope this one stays!

Changes:
1. first teaching job - 4th grade in Charleston, WV
2. moved into my first apartment, by myself, 3 hours away from "home"
3. trying to meet new people and friends in such a new environment
4. reevaluating and trying to change how I've been living life
5. sooo much ....

I've been "home" for Christmas and New Year's after the first 3 weeks of my new job. I was so excited to come home and just relax. That lasted 2? 3 days? My stepdad and I have always had issues, but lately it's just been getting worse. I have said things I've shouldn't have and vice versa. We have not spoken in 4 or 5 days since our latest blowout, and I'm heading back downstate tomorrow morning. This has been happening since I was in 8th grade, so normally, I brush it off easily and move on. For some reason, this one is sticking with me and has really been affecting me. I love my mom with all my heart, but feel so bad for her that she feels as though she cannot walk away from it all. She keeps saying she is going to save up so she can leave, but it never happens. I can tell my mom has been really affected by the latest drama and fighting in this house. She feels like everything that happens is her fault. I see so much of myself in her, and just want her to know it's not her fault. I want her to be happy, and knows she isn't here. She has been trying to make it up to me, and even offered to take me out to breakfast before I leave in the morning. I wish she could be happy, and I could just take her with me away from all of this.

This past year, I've done some things I never thought I would have. I began the year in a new, great relationship. I had the privilege of completing the second half of my student teaching on the Patrick Henry Village Army Base in Heidelberg, Germany, as well as traveling Europe a little. I graduated from college with my bachelor's in Elementary Education. I went to Camp Luther for the 14th time, and got to experience my first ever YoungLife Camp in New York at Lake Champion. I found a wonderful church, called The Experience (TE), that has been opening my eyes to things I've always known, but not exactly applied to my life. I decided to become a YoungLife leader, and absolutely loved my group of kids from John Marshall High School. I recently took my first full-time teaching job in Charleston, WV in a fourth grade classroom.

Maybe it's been all the sudden changes in life, but these past couple weeks, I feel like I've been reevaluating everything in my life. If you know me, I tend to be the emotional one =). Lately, that has definitely been the word to describe me. Again, I'm hoping it's all of the changes and me still figuring out what my life is doing that is causing the occasional breakdown - haha. I love my family, but sometimes just feel lost with them. I turn to friends for support and encouragement, but feel as though no one understands most days. I just end up more discouraged at the end, then self conscious because they don't get it. I've been trying more to turn to faith, but feel like I keep stumbling.

This past year, I've done a lot of good and a lot of stupid things. I've been in situations where I was looking to my friends for spiritual growth and guidance. Looking back now, I see some of the terrible mistakes I've made, and sadly, justified them as if they were ok. While I thought I was getting closer to God through some people, in the end, I think I was just becoming more confused and turning away. I turn to that for comfort now, even though it's pulling me from God.

These next few weeks are going to be dedicated for me to figure out which direction I want to be going. I want to get back on track with God. I want to go to work and truly enjoy it among the stress and newness of everything. I want to try and discern where exactly God wants me to be after my contract ends in June (Wheeling, Charleston, anywhere, etc.). I want to make a difference, somewhere, somehow. I want my friends to enjoy being around me, not think, "oh gosh, she's crying" haha. I want to show Jesus through me, but need to be completely dependent on God.